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Sleepless in Seoul…

Friday, July 13th, 2007

It’s already 2 weeks since I returned to Korea. But my whole sleep/wake-rhythm seems to be totally off.

I already have a fragmented sleep but this is really annoying now, having the jetlag on top of everything else. Well, I guess I have to get used to it. Last time it took me about 2 months to get a reasonable rhythm. That’s why I hate travelling half around the world from one bubble to another one.

Korea is really different from Switzerland. But it’s like having a theatre divided in half by a wall, the wall is the connection from one part of the theatre to the other one. The flight is symbolizing the wall… the transition from one world to another one. Maybe there are other worlds out there, too. But right now I’m already busy enough with living in two different worlds.

Is there a possibility to connect those two worlds or will it always remain a kind of schizophrenic scenario? I don’t know. I will just try to do the split. I’ll just live in one place as long as I like it and then I’ll move on to other places. There are so many places in this world to discover, to get adapted to. It’s interesting to learn new languages, new cultures.

I guess Korea will always be one part of my life since I was born in this country. Someone asked me what it would mean to me if I had both nationalities, the Korean and the Swiss one. I replied that it would reflect exactly my situation. I do have a Korean family here and I also have a Swiss family. So having a dual citizenship would be the perfect solution for me. I think we should start a petition in order to get a law passed that would allow dual citizenship for adoptees. There is already one country I know of that allows their adoptees who are being sent away to keep their original nationality. It’s the U.S.A. that send aways black children to Canada and Europe. They will remain U.S. citizens although with an adoption usually the ties are cut. Not so in the U.S.A.

I also think that Korea could profit a lot from all the adoptees out there. I’m pretty sure that everybody would love to get the Korean nationality in addition to their adopted one. Well, the sun is going up and I should try to get some hours of sleep…

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Trip to Europe

Friday, March 9th, 2007

Once again I’m preparing my trip to Europe. This time I’ll be visiting Switzerland, France and Germany. Of course one part will be to visit my parents in Switzerland. But there are other parts where I’ll be joining the planning committee of the upcoming IKAA Gathering 2007 in Paris.

It’s always nice to see familiar faces and especially those from overseas. Usually I always meet everybody here in Korea but this time it will be different. I haven’t been in Paris for such a long time. Actually since 1988 or 1989 when we did a trip with the business school. I still remember that night when we all passed out on the night train. Not from being tired, no, from all the alcohol we smuggled through customs and onto the train. At that time the customs controls between the French and the Swiss part at the Basel train stations were more thorough than these days. Well, I can’t really tell since I haven’t been back to Basel since 2003.

Time here in Korea is flying. Currently I read the book “Eindelijk leef ik echt” by Joey Yoon. She’s a Dutch adoptee who wrote about her life. It’s really interesting to read it. It mainly focuses on how she overcame her eating disorder but I haven’t finished it yet… so the end is still open. I still have to look up words on the internet. I usually use www.vandale.nl, a site which was suggested by E.L., one of my roommates. Learning a language is always a very long and slow process. Especially considering the fact that I’m now 40 years old *sigh*. I used to learn our English dictionary by heart when I was in middle school. But that was just for fun. They would also call me the “sleepwalking dictionary” because I would sleep more than actually be awake during school. Well, life as a narcoleptic can have its obstacles.

I also follow the discussions on mailing-lists. I’m also on lists with adoptive parents. It’s always interesting to see what they’re discussing. One thing I realized was that the European adoptive parents are very different from the US American ones. Even though I can write in German in one of the lists, I hardly ever do because most of the adoptive parents don’t care about what an adoptee has to say. They focus more on adopting processes, how to improve that, what to do etc. and most of them are either preparing an adoption or just have adopted. On a progressive list like I-A-T (International Adoption Talk) on Yahoo!Groups, basically everybody’s listening to the opinions of adoptees. Adoptees have a lot of experience which could be very useful for future adoptive parents. Once adoptive parents overcome their defense mechanisms, they might learn a lot which would directly benefit their children, too. At least that’s my hope.

Coming back to our small adoptee community here in Korea. We have our share of drama. I understand that there will always be drama in such a small community as ours, but I hope in the future that it won’t end in violence as it did happen sometimes in the past. And I’m not judging anyone because I know that sometimes it seems to be inevitable. One word leads to the next one, one action and all of the sudden it seems to be way beyond of what the original cause was. Of course alcohol plays an important role, too. Anyway, maybe I should suggest a Korean TV station just to follow our community with cameras… that would be the real adoptee reality show, wouldn’t that?

We are preparing a petition in order to get better support for G.O.A.’L from the Korean government. It’s ridiculous how in the past G.O.A.’L has been excluded from much support just because it is run by adult adoptees. Especially since G.O.A.’L is representing adoptees here in Korea it should have been supported by the government. I guess it’s still the old mentality that lead to the situation we have these days. In any case we hope that we can get all your signatures. Launch will be in April. :-)

If I have enough time in Europe I’ll update my BLOG. And watch out for the pictures in the photogallery. My last week’s favourite is the one with R.S. in Catchlight. I used my Canon Powershot G3 in manual mode (2s exposure with a leading flash).

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Watching MadTV

Wednesday, January 17th, 2007

Have you ever watched MadTV? I was watching videoclips on Youtube (www.youtube.com) and stumbled across some of Bobby Lee’s gigs on MadTV.

The first one I watched was one of his “Average Asian” shows and I found it really funny, but also very hurtful at the same time. He made fun of all the Asian stereotypes and it was really funny. Yet the feeling of uneasiness came from recognizing the fact that he really hit the nail on the head. Too many times I was just familiar with what was played and I knew what would come as pointe because I encountered the same situation. He’s really gifted and a funny guy.

I know that some people really hate his guts and even among Asians there is a controversy about his roles. What I liked about him is that he makes fun of those stereotypes that exist and since he portrayed it that well I guess it means, that he also knows them well. It’s comedy, yet it’s another way of dealing with racism.

Maybe we’re all reading too much into his roles. I’m not sure about the episode where he played a Korean “adoptee” (as a “baby”), how adoptees will receive it. Personally I found it funny as well. Maybe some of you will feel offended by it. But I had to laugh.

He’s been also in movies and I’m sure we’ll see much more from him in the future. Definitely one more Asian in movies and that’s one thing we can only support, I guess, since the lack of Asian stars in Hollywood is really big.

I wonder what you think of him. Take a look at MadTV. I’m already curious as to what he comes up with next…

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Love hurts

Wednesday, January 17th, 2007

Für die einen ist Liebe etwas Schönes, etwas Positives. Es gibt tausende Liebeslieder in all den Sprachen der Welt. Jedoch gibt es auch tausende Tragödien, die auf Liebe basieren.

Ich denke, dass jeder Mensch zwar Liebe benötigt, dass aber Liebe für jeden etwas anderes bedeutet. Das hängt vermutlich auch mit der Lebensgeschichte jedes einzelnen zusammen.

Die einen fallen der Liebe zum Opfer, in dem sie Liebe mit “verliebt sein” verwechseln. Sie suchen Liebe in jedem Partner/in, dem/r sie begegnen. So flüchtig sie sein mag, in jeder Begegnung erhoffen sie sich Liebe. Jedoch werden sie enttäuscht und begeben sich auf den Weg für die nächste Begegnung, die nächste Enttäuschung wartet bereits auf sie. Indem sie sich zu rasch hinwerfen, entgeht ihnen die wahre Liebe. Die Suche nach der Liebe kann eine Sucht werden. Wie eine drogensüchtige Person taumeln sie von Abend zu Abend auf der Suche nach dem einen, nicht erkennend, dass sie so nah sein kann. Jedoch scheint sie sich weiter und weiter zu entfernen.

hingegen wurden schon früh enttäuscht und verletzt. Sie können sich nicht mehr für jemanden entscheiden, da der Panzer aus Narben, der sie umgibt, sich nicht einfach durchstossen lässt. Es würde jemanden benötigen, der die Situation erkennt und die notwendige Kraft besitzen würde, den Panzer zu durchstossen. Jedoch, wer hat in der heutigen Gesellschaft genügend Zeit, sich auf ein derartiges Abenteuer einzulassen? Die einsame Person hingegen stirbt zehntausend Mal im eigenen Panzer. Ein Panzer schützt, kann gleichzeitig jedoch auch ein Fluch sein. Vor allem, wenn er so dick ist, dass man nicht mehr herauskommt. Um ein derartiges Panzer zu entfernen benötigt man viel Zeit und Geduld.

Liebe kann wehtun,
egliche Art und Weise. Gibt es die wahre Liebe?

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Masks

Monday, December 12th, 2005

it took me years to realize how many masks i once wore, how many i used at that time. it took me years to realize that all the hurt, the anger, the fears won’t subside behind the masks. i had to discover all the masks and had to get rid of them one by one before i realized what life might actually be. but i still don’t know what life is. how many more masks are there? is life itself a mask? what if i take off one mask too many?

my hurt, my anger, my fears have receded but will never totally disappear. the shadows of the past will always loom in the background.

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Iceskating in Seoul

Saturday, January 15th, 2005

There are several possible places where you can ice skate here in Seoul. We went last week on Saturday to the Ice Rink in Mokdong….

Take the subway line 5 and get off at Omokgyo station, take exit no. 3 and go straight to the huge building with the green roof. It’s across a huge parking lot. You have to go around the parking lot to actually get to the ice rink. When we got there we were already kind of late because we had to wait for H. and also because I didn’t have lunch. So we went to have a hot choco at the subway station. When we arrived the lady at the entrance charged us only 7000 Won instead of the 4000 Won entrance fee & 7000 Won rental fee. That was really nice and I’d like to thank her. The thing is that the ice rink is closed for public after 6 p.m.

We got our skates (you should know your shoe size beforehand, mine is for example 255…) and then went to the rink. There are lockers right next to the rink and we could change our shoes and put them into the locker. Be prepared and take some 500 Won coins with you…

The skates are kind of old and not that often redone. I realized that on the ice. There are a lot of people, mostly children, on the ice and there are some security guards there who watch the hectic circling on the ice. They have whistles and every time they see someone doing something wrong they whistle. We went counterclockwise around the rink and if you’re not prepared to be pushed or having small kids crossing your way, then you’d rather choose not to go skating there.

The ice is redone every hour. You can also take classes there, there are shops there where you can also buy skates or have them overdone.

All in all the athmosphere was peaceful and relaxed. We really enjoyed the trip to the Mokdong Ice Rink and I guess this was not the only time we go ice skating. Especially L. as a former figure skater was happy to be on ice. And she really looked very comfortable on those skates. I really gonna miss her.

Of course there are other ice rinks. One of the better known is the one at Lotteworld in Chamshil. They remodelled the whole thing in order to serve the public better. The rink is embedded in the whole entertainment area. I don’t remember how much the fees were.

If you prefer a romantic one then you can go to the Hyatt Hotel in Itaewon. Apparently they turn their pool during the winter into an ice rink. I think that’s really a good idea. I haven’t checked it out yet but if I have a girlfriend I’m sure I’ll take her once to that place… unless she can’t skate at all…

There is also a temporary ice rink in front of City Hall. But that one is mostly closed for adults and open from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. to children up to the age of 15 only. The smaller ones can be accompanied by their parents. So either you’re not yet 15 or you’re parent to a child. Otherwise you have to wait until 5 p.m.
From 5 p.m. till 10 p.m. it’s also open to adults. I guess because of the popular place it’s pretty crowded. It’s also smaller than the one in Mokdong. the good thing is that there is no entrance fee but apparently something for the rental of the skates.
If I have enough time I’d like to check out that place, too. It must be nice to skate in that area with all the skyscrapers around the rink. I still remember also the place from my very first visit to Korea. That was a very different time in history…

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Skiing in Korea

Tuesday, January 11th, 2005

Last week I went to the Jisan Skiresort (http://www.jisanresort.co.kr).

Thanks to a friend of my roommate we could get a some stuff for free… for example the rental of the equipment was free (skis, boots, boards). We also got a free dinner.

In the morning we met D.W. in Kangnam where he was waiting and he drove us to the ski resort which is approximately 1 1/2 hours south of Seoul. On the way we also had a small snack at a stop and then went on to the ski resort.

Once we got there we went to a condo close to the slopes where a friend of D.W. was working and could change out clothes. Then we went to the slopes and got our equipment there.

Since we were kind of late we decided to get a ticket from noon on. With that one we could ski also in the evening until 23.30h. We then went on the slopes, the boarders, F., D. and D.W. went to the beginner’s slope for boarders and I went to the skilift since I’m still skiing…

The slopes were pretty well prepared, all artificial snow but they were all kind of very short. So I had to wait in line for the lift (about 10 – 30 min.), then the lift took me up the hill in about 5 min. and then 2 min. fun downhill…

The snow was ok although it’s different to ski on artificial snow… and also the rental skis were not up-to-date of course. And I was also out of shape since my accident in 2003.

In the afternoon when some jets roared across the blue sky I almost felt like in Tschiertschen. There the mountains are of course much higher (they deserve the name “mountain”). But at least it was kind of a good feeling for a short moment.

Being by myself I mostly enjoyed skiing and I love skiing very fast… the short skis were sometimes a little difficult to handle at high speed. Next time I should request longer skis than the ones I had.

The boots were the kind where you step in and close in the back of your calf. My problem is always that I’d like to bend my knees more than the skiboots would allow. I think I have to invent a new pair of skiboots…

The result of those very stiff and long skiboots is that I can’t put all the pressure I’d like on the skis. And the weight is more on the rear part of the skis instead of the front part. That influences the character of the skis and their behaviour in the curves, of course. The better you can put pressure on the edges the nicer you can go through the curves. The whole game of balance is of course very important when it comes to sweeping down the slopes…

Anyway.. around 16.30h the slopes were closed and redone for 1 1/2 hours. Then the slopes reopened with floodlight. It was the first time I did do nightskiing with floodlights. Back in Switzerland we usually had our torch-lit downhill excursions which were quite romantic (I can recommend it for couples… ).

After 19 runs with the “blue” skilift we then went home.

Thanks to D.W. for his generous invitation. I really enjoyed skiing!!!

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Es weihnachtet in Korea…

Thursday, December 23rd, 2004

oder auch nicht…

Weihnachten wird hier nicht im selben Sinne wie in Europa gefeiert…

Ich erinnere mich noch gut an Weihnachten in der Schweiz. Bereits mit dem 1. Advent beginnt das Fiebern nach DEM Event. Jedes T�rchen des Adventskalenders wird sorgf�ltig ge�ffnet, manchmal wird gar geschummelt, ein T�rchen mehr ge�ffnet als gerade die Tage.

n Weihnachten das Schm�cken des Tannenbaums, die Kerzen, das Backen der “Guetzli”. Die ganzen sinnlichen Eindr�cke waren manchmal gar �berw�ltigend. Dann das Klingeln des Gl�ckchens und die vielen Geschenke unter dem Tannenbaum. Das �ffnen der Geschenke, die Freude �ber das gew�nschte Spiel, die scheinbare Freude �ber ein Geschenk, das man eigentlich nicht wollte. Es waren sehr viele Eindr�cke, die man als Kind erhielt. Die Weihnachtslieder sind mir auch noch in guter Erinnerung, da ich schon immer gerne gesungen habe.

Jedoch war di
gion bei uns zu Hause nie eine grosse Diskussion. Ich ging in den Religionsunterricht, ich besuchte die Jugendgruppe in der Kirche auf der Suche nach etwas bestimmtem. Jedoch habe ich den gew�nschten Halt, die ben�tigte Unterst�tzung auch dort nicht gefunden. In Tschiertschen in die Kirche zu gehen war auch noch etwas sehr “heimeliges”, “anmaecheliges”. Dieses Gef�hl habe ich in anderen Kirchen nie gehabt.

meiner Jugendzeit habe ich alles ganz anders erlebt, irgendwie entleert, entzaubert. Geschenke gab’s nat�rlich auch nicht mehr so viele und die Grosseltern, die noch damals lebten, sind auch nicht mehr. Das wiederum “verlassen werden” von der Grossmutter und des Nenis, haben ebenfalls tiefe Wunden aufgerissen. Auch wenn es selbstverst�ndlich etwas nat�rliches ist, so wie der Tod ein Teil des Lebens ist… so ist das “Verlassen werden” leider auch ein Teil meines Lebens.
<
Aber ich weiche wieder vom eigentlichen Thema ab.

Weihnachten ist hier doch sehr kommerziell, es wird geschm�ckt und Geschenke vor allem f�r die Kinder gekauft. Es werden vermehrt “christliche” Akte, d.h. es werden Spenden gesammelt, Alten- und Kinderheime besucht, durchgef�hrt. Vor allem im TV werden viele derartige Shows gezeigt. Manchmal ist das etwas allzu dramatisch, so halt wie es die Koreaner – oder sind das vor allem Koreanerinnen? – so m�gen. Drama in allen Winkeln des Lebens. Als konfuzianistische Gesellschaft ist man hier eigentlich verdammt ohne Familie. Ohne Familie hat man wenig zu verlieren. Jedoch verliert genau dieses Familiensystem nach und nach seinen Wert. Bereits leben Familien nicht mehr in Grossfamilien sondern nur noch als Kernfamilien. Das bedeutet, dass die Grosseltern meist in Altenheimen abgeschoben werden, oder einfach f�r sich selbst sorgen m�ssen, solange sie das noch verm�gen und auch k�rperlich dazu fit genug sind. Man sieht hier sehr viele �ltere Leute auf der Strasse, die noch irgendwelchen T�tigkeiten nachgehen. Das Rentensystem ist zwar bereits vorhanden, jedoch nach wie vor sehr unbeliebt und viele weigern sich, in das System einzuzahlen. Korea wird sich einer ungewissen Zukunft entgegensehen. Viele �nderungen und Neuerungen werden den Weg hierher finden, jedoch sollte vor allem die Mentalit�t der Menschen hier einer �nderung unterworfen werden. Man spricht immer wieder von einer Globalisierung. Jedoch sp�rt man hier – ausser der sehr grotesken Englischmania – noch nicht so viel. Ich bin gespannt, wie die Entwicklung der n�chsten 50 Jahren aussehen wird. Vorausgesetzt ich erlebe die n�chsten 50 Jahre, nat�rlich…

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Spam, Spam, Spam

Sunday, December 12th, 2004

It is funny that there are words like “spam” and the different meanings this word can have…

First at all I associate spam with something to eat and that’s exactly what a lot of Koreans do every single day. They like “Boodaejigae” for example. It is almost like a soup with vegetables and kimchi … and some spam in it. It used to be very popular in Uijungboo where the US military used to have a base. So apparently after the Korean war there were many places that offered spam in this or other ways.

Spam is nowadays also something really annoying. Spam is another word for all those mails mulling in my mailbox, waiting to be deleted. Spam are massmails sent by some people who think that they could make money by sending mails to millions of people advertising for some stupid things. Maybe they do actually make some money… but in some cases I really doubt it. Of course it’s also the wrong doings of many server administrators who do not protect their mail servers from relaying mails.

I just counted today my spam folder and I had 1337 spam mails within 24 hours. I do hope that the politicians will develop some kind of law against those spammers as I’m certain that they take quite a bit of the bandwidth of the internet these days…

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Es wird Winter

Monday, November 29th, 2004

Die Tage werden kuerzer, die Naechte laenger. Die Temperaturen naehern sich bereits der Nullgradgrenze. Es ist lange her, seit ich etwas auf Deutsch hier reingeschrieben hab. Deutsch ist eh eine Sprache, die ich hier in Korea aeusserst selten benutz. Das ist nicht ohne Grund so. Die meisten Adoptierten hier unterhalten sich alle auf Englisch, wobei es eine gewisse Tendenz von den Frankophonen gibt, sich in eigenen Gruppen zu bewegen.

Das finde ich eigentlich schade, da wir alle ja eigentlich im selben Boot sitzen. Aber da zeigt es sich, dass auch hier in Korea alle Adoptierten Individualisten sind. Das ist einerseits – aus westlichem Standpunkt – natuerlich logisch. Andererseits macht es manchmal die Arbeit mit Koreanern dann etwas schwieriger.

Hier ist noch viel an Oeffentlichkeitsarbeit gefragt. Wer sind wir Adoptierten und wie koennen wir diese Individualitaet eins zu eins zu Koreanern rueberbringen? Das ist wohl eine Gleichung, die zu loesen praktisch niemand imstande sein wird.

Dennoch denke ich, dass sich vieles bewegen laesst. Auch Korea als Land ist – meiner Meinung nach – auf der Suche nach einer eigenen Identitaet. Zu lange war man der kleine Bruder der Grossmacht USA’s, zu lange war man von anderen abhaengig. Es gilt sich zu emanzipieren, eigenstaendig zu werden. Auch in Sachen Adoptionsindustrie sollte man eigenstaendig werden und nicht immer auf “auswaertige” Loesungen verfallen, auch wenn es eine sehr leichte und verlockende Loesung sein sollte.

Ein eigenes Sozialwesen aufzubauen wird schwierig sein und wird wohl auch auf sehr viele Hindernisse treffen. Die Chancen, die man hier jedoch hat, sind, dass man von anderen Laendern abgucken kann, wie sie die Probleme loesen oder geloest haben. Korea hat lange Zeit vom Westen abgekupfert, verbessert und auf den Markt geschmissen. Wieso soll das im Sozialwesen nicht anders sein? Eine Loesung massgeschneidert fuer Korea zu finden, das waere doch das Nonplusultra.

Ausserdem hat Korea je laenger je mehr mit den selben Phaenomen wie die restlichen Industriestaaten zu kaempfen. Sinkende Geburtenraten, aelter werdende Bevoelkerung. Wohin soll die Tendenz denn fuehren?
Muss Korea in allem das selbe werden wie die USA oder andere Industriestaaten?

Ich hoffe nicht.

Selbstverstaendlich sind meine Worte nur die eines Laien, der nicht viel Ahnung hat. Jedoch widerspiegeln diese Worte meine eigene Meinung. Wer etwas zu dieser Diskussion beitragen moechte, solle dies auch tun. Dazu ist diese Plattform hier auch geschaffen worden. :-)

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