Birthfamilies looking for adoptees

February 19th, 2010

Case 1
Name father: Park Sung Ho (바승호)

In 1981 he had given up his 3 daughters for adoption. They all went to the same family in France.

Looking for:
Name: Park Young Sun (박영선)
Date of birth: 23 June 1970
Case number: K-80-2129

Name: Park So Yeun (박소연)
Date of birth: 1972
Case number: K-80-2130

Name: Park Hyo Jin (박효진)
Date of birth: 1974
Case number: K-80-2131

They were born in Seoul and were adopted through Holt.

Case 2
Name mother: 윤상기
Date of birth: 13 April 1948

Looking for:
Name: Yoon Soo Kyung (윤수경)
Date of birth: January 14 1975

Lived in Anyang till 8 years old and was then adopted through Holt to France.
Yoon Soo Kyung

If anyone knows them, please send an email to santoki@santoki.ch. Thank you.

Hello world!

February 19th, 2010

Welcome. I decided to relaunch my old blog (which is still accessible at http://www.santoki.ch/html/) and will sooner or later replace it through this blog here. I intend to move the most interesting posts to this blog, too.
It’s a work in progress, thank you for your understanding…

Re-adjustment problems among Korean adoptees (post-reunion)

August 9th, 2008

Synopsis:
Many Korean adoptees experience difficulties in the development of their own identity. This is one of the reasons why many Korean adoptees only return to Korea after a certain time. Every adoptee has his or her own pace. This explains why Korean adoptees return at different ages to the country where they were born. I can see a difference between older generations and younger ones. The younger generations tend to return to Korea in their late teens or 20s. In contrast to this many older generations return in their 30s to Korea.
After a first visit many Korean adoptees experience problems with the re-adjustment to their lives they led prior to the visit to Korea. The problems can vary from short episodes of sadness, grief, excitement and other emotional instabilities in best cases versus onset of depression like symptoms which may require treatment or even hospitalization. The symptoms may vary very much with every adoptee. There are also documented cases of adoptees who committed suicide after returning from their first trip to Korea.

Analysis:
Identity forming is a very complex process. Korean adoptees who grow up mostly with Caucasian adoptive parents have additional layers to resolve in contrast to their peers who grow up with parents of the same ethnicity. A visit to the country of origin opens a new perspective to the Korean adoptee. All of a sudden the Korean adoptee realizes that there are other persons around who just look like him/her. Being in the majority and not sticking out like a sore thumb is a new experience which helps many Korean adoptees to further comprehend their own identity. Especially those who happen to be reunited with their biological family will go through more layers. Juggling the Korean and the western identity around, finding the family means also that sooner or later the adoptee needs to consolidate the various identities into one. Post-reunion development shows that there is a need for further development. Various stages can be passed within a short period, but some of the stages will take more time, months, maybe even years, until the adoptee is able to process all stages. Grief is an important part of the process, where the adoptee can grieve the past, the loss of the biological family, the loss of the lives they never lived, the loss of the culture and language.

Conclusion
It is very important to understand the complexity of the situation in which many adoptees all of a sudden are when they are reunited (many times completely unexpected) with their biological family. In light cases there needs to be just enough space and time for the adoptee to process the whole events. Many times it helps to have close friends who listen to the adoptee. In other cases it is recommendable to seek the help of a professional therapist/counselor. Ideally the counselor would be specialized in adoption issues. In severe cases we recommend hospitalization with stationary treatment (if needed in closed environment and with support of antidepressant or similar drugs where use is indicated, especially in case of suicidal tendencies). A thorough briefing prior to a visit to Korea would be highly recommendable but is not possible due to the fact that the adoptee is in most cases not aware of the consequences of his/her visit. It should be in any case included in the counseling of the adoptee at the adoption agency. But there are limits to this, too, due to financial constraints and due to the fact that the countries where the adoptee lives is not the same as where the adoption agency is located (Korea).
We also recommend the use of so-called peer-to-peer counseling. Connecting the adoptee to other adoptees in his area who went through similar experiences is highly recommendable. A list of the existing Korean Adoptee Associations is available at G.O.A.’L.

Dae-won Wenger

- added 2010-01-27
One action plan could be to develop an international network with the existing adoptee organization and try to locate local resources for counseling/therapy in order to fight the difficulties adoptees experience. This would require financial resources not only from the Republic of Korea but also from all other countries that are involved in international adoption from Korea.

Sleepless in Seoul…

July 13th, 2007

It’s already 2 weeks since I returned to Korea. But my whole sleep/wake-rhythm seems to be totally off.

I already have a fragmented sleep but this is really annoying now, having the jetlag on top of everything else. Well, I guess I have to get used to it. Last time it took me about 2 months to get a reasonable rhythm. That’s why I hate travelling half around the world from one bubble to another one.

Korea is really different from Switzerland. But it’s like having a theatre divided in half by a wall, the wall is the connection from one part of the theatre to the other one. The flight is symbolizing the wall… the transition from one world to another one. Maybe there are other worlds out there, too. But right now I’m already busy enough with living in two different worlds.

Is there a possibility to connect those two worlds or will it always remain a kind of schizophrenic scenario? I don’t know. I will just try to do the split. I’ll just live in one place as long as I like it and then I’ll move on to other places. There are so many places in this world to discover, to get adapted to. It’s interesting to learn new languages, new cultures.

I guess Korea will always be one part of my life since I was born in this country. Someone asked me what it would mean to me if I had both nationalities, the Korean and the Swiss one. I replied that it would reflect exactly my situation. I do have a Korean family here and I also have a Swiss family. So having a dual citizenship would be the perfect solution for me. I think we should start a petition in order to get a law passed that would allow dual citizenship for adoptees. There is already one country I know of that allows their adoptees who are being sent away to keep their original nationality. It’s the U.S.A. that send aways black children to Canada and Europe. They will remain U.S. citizens although with an adoption usually the ties are cut. Not so in the U.S.A.

I also think that Korea could profit a lot from all the adoptees out there. I’m pretty sure that everybody would love to get the Korean nationality in addition to their adopted one. Well, the sun is going up and I should try to get some hours of sleep…

Trip to Europe

March 9th, 2007

Once again I’m preparing my trip to Europe. This time I’ll be visiting Switzerland, France and Germany. Of course one part will be to visit my parents in Switzerland. But there are other parts where I’ll be joining the planning committee of the upcoming IKAA Gathering 2007 in Paris.

It’s always nice to see familiar faces and especially those from overseas. Usually I always meet everybody here in Korea but this time it will be different. I haven’t been in Paris for such a long time. Actually since 1988 or 1989 when we did a trip with the business school. I still remember that night when we all passed out on the night train. Not from being tired, no, from all the alcohol we smuggled through customs and onto the train. At that time the customs controls between the French and the Swiss part at the Basel train stations were more thorough than these days. Well, I can’t really tell since I haven’t been back to Basel since 2003.

Time here in Korea is flying. Currently I read the book “Eindelijk leef ik echt” by Joey Yoon. She’s a Dutch adoptee who wrote about her life. It’s really interesting to read it. It mainly focuses on how she overcame her eating disorder but I haven’t finished it yet… so the end is still open. I still have to look up words on the internet. I usually use www.vandale.nl, a site which was suggested by E.L., one of my roommates. Learning a language is always a very long and slow process. Especially considering the fact that I’m now 40 years old *sigh*. I used to learn our English dictionary by heart when I was in middle school. But that was just for fun. They would also call me the “sleepwalking dictionary” because I would sleep more than actually be awake during school. Well, life as a narcoleptic can have its obstacles.

I also follow the discussions on mailing-lists. I’m also on lists with adoptive parents. It’s always interesting to see what they’re discussing. One thing I realized was that the European adoptive parents are very different from the US American ones. Even though I can write in German in one of the lists, I hardly ever do because most of the adoptive parents don’t care about what an adoptee has to say. They focus more on adopting processes, how to improve that, what to do etc. and most of them are either preparing an adoption or just have adopted. On a progressive list like I-A-T (International Adoption Talk) on Yahoo!Groups, basically everybody’s listening to the opinions of adoptees. Adoptees have a lot of experience which could be very useful for future adoptive parents. Once adoptive parents overcome their defense mechanisms, they might learn a lot which would directly benefit their children, too. At least that’s my hope.

Coming back to our small adoptee community here in Korea. We have our share of drama. I understand that there will always be drama in such a small community as ours, but I hope in the future that it won’t end in violence as it did happen sometimes in the past. And I’m not judging anyone because I know that sometimes it seems to be inevitable. One word leads to the next one, one action and all of the sudden it seems to be way beyond of what the original cause was. Of course alcohol plays an important role, too. Anyway, maybe I should suggest a Korean TV station just to follow our community with cameras… that would be the real adoptee reality show, wouldn’t that?

We are preparing a petition in order to get better support for G.O.A.’L from the Korean government. It’s ridiculous how in the past G.O.A.’L has been excluded from much support just because it is run by adult adoptees. Especially since G.O.A.’L is representing adoptees here in Korea it should have been supported by the government. I guess it’s still the old mentality that lead to the situation we have these days. In any case we hope that we can get all your signatures. Launch will be in April. :-)

If I have enough time in Europe I’ll update my BLOG. And watch out for the pictures in the photogallery. My last week’s favourite is the one with R.S. in Catchlight. I used my Canon Powershot G3 in manual mode (2s exposure with a leading flash).

Korean Adoptee Community, Seoul

February 6th, 2007

The Korean Adoptee Community here in Seoul has constantly changed since I came to Korea. Back in 2003 there were some groups, mostly Americans and Europeans who tended to hang out separately. After the Gathering 2004 many adoptees decided to stay longer and during fall/winter that year we had a development into one large group of adoptees.

I still remember how we used to hang out in groups with at most 50-70 persons. All 2005 it was fun to hang out and the only fights were those between someone from our community and someone from outside. But already towards the end of 2005 there was a new trend visible.

More and more adoptees decided to come to Korea and to live here for at least one year. Naturally our community grew larger and larger. Towards end of 2005 there were maybe 150 adoptees living here and connected to each other through our text message list. That was the beginning of a big change. As soon as more than a certain number of adoptees arrived from one country they formed another group.

I guess this is natural and is called group dynamics. On one hand I miss those times when we were in such a large group. On the other hand it’s just a normal development. I wonder where the community will go to in the future. Of course we are still connecting all adoptees – irregardless to their background and affiliations – to each other as I think that the community is a very important thing here in Korea. The community is for many adoptees the only network they can rely upon since as adoptees we are foreigners in our own birthcountry.

Watching MadTV

January 17th, 2007

Have you ever watched MadTV? I was watching videoclips on Youtube (www.youtube.com) and stumbled across some of Bobby Lee’s gigs on MadTV.

The first one I watched was one of his “Average Asian” shows and I found it really funny, but also very hurtful at the same time. He made fun of all the Asian stereotypes and it was really funny. Yet the feeling of uneasiness came from recognizing the fact that he really hit the nail on the head. Too many times I was just familiar with what was played and I knew what would come as pointe because I encountered the same situation. He’s really gifted and a funny guy.

I know that some people really hate his guts and even among Asians there is a controversy about his roles. What I liked about him is that he makes fun of those stereotypes that exist and since he portrayed it that well I guess it means, that he also knows them well. It’s comedy, yet it’s another way of dealing with racism.

Maybe we’re all reading too much into his roles. I’m not sure about the episode where he played a Korean “adoptee” (as a “baby”), how adoptees will receive it. Personally I found it funny as well. Maybe some of you will feel offended by it. But I had to laugh.

He’s been also in movies and I’m sure we’ll see much more from him in the future. Definitely one more Asian in movies and that’s one thing we can only support, I guess, since the lack of Asian stars in Hollywood is really big.

I wonder what you think of him. Take a look at MadTV. I’m already curious as to what he comes up with next…

Dual Citizenship

January 10th, 2007

It’s one thing many adoptees don’t know about.

There is a possibility that you are still considered a Korean citizen even though you are a citizen of your adoptive country.

There are probably several reasons for this situation. Either when you acquired your new citizenship, nobody cared to let the Korean authorities know. Maybe within the Korean system there had been some communication problems. In any case, it happens actually more often than I ever thought. Adoptees arrive in Korea, they apply for the F4 visa and in that process they also get their Korean family registry.

Take a good look at it. If there is a Korean ID number on it, then you’re still considered a Korean citizen. The number is easily identifiable. It starts with your birthdate (YYMMDD), then comes a dash and then it starts with a 1 for male and 2 for females.

Being dual citizen is officially illegal and only under certain circumstances allowed (for example children from an international marriage can be dual citizens up to the age of 20 and then they have 2 years time to decide). G.O.A.’L is trying to lobby for a Korean citizenship for adoptees where we could still keep our adoptive country’s citizenship. And of course the issue of the military service needs to be discussed. There was recently also a discussion on K@W about the pros and contras of a dual citizenship.

In any case, so far none of the adoptees has given up his/her adoptive citizenship and everybody renounced their Korean citizenship, although many after much consideration since it’s not only just a matter of military service or so but it’s also a matter of heart.

Giving it up is actually just a form you fill in and then you hand it in prior to the whole paperwork for the F4 visa.

Working in Korea

January 9th, 2007

Ever thought about coming to Korea to live and work here? Many adoptees keep thinking about exactly that. But there are things you should know before you come here. This small guide is intended for adoptees living in their adoptive countries…

Legal things: First at all you need a visa in order to be able to stay in Korea and also to work and make money for your living. For adoptees and overseas Koreans there is the F4 visa. The basis was made back in 1999 when the Overseas Koreans Act was passed. Thanks to G.O.A.’L’s lobbying at that time adoptees were included in that act.

The visa allows to stay for two years. It’s a multiple re-entry visa, which means even when leaving Korea you can return without having to apply for another visa. You can even extend the visa for another two years without having to leave the country. So far there seems to be no limit as to how many times it can be extended.

The procedure is really easy and usually I recommend to come to Korea on a regular tourist visa (the one where you fill in the form in the airplane) and then to do the necessary steps within Korea. Just make sure you bring along your adoption-related documents and especially for American citizens, the naturalization paperwork.

For the rest you can get advice from G.O.A.’L directly.

Accomodation:
Depending on your job situation you might need a place to stay. The main problem here in Korea is not even the monthly rent but the key-money that reaches incredible amounts. I put down for example 20 Mio. Won for my 3 bedroom apartment. Of course you can get the key-money after moving out back but who has that much money?

If you put down even more money, you can even rent an apartment by the so-called “Jeon-se” system (from 50 Mio. Won on up). That would mean that you don’t pay monthly rent any longer. You still get the money back after the contract is expired. The owner basically profits from the interest he gets when he invests that money.

Finding an apartment is relatively easy, depending on the location and your needs, of course. Just don’t expect everything to be like in your adoptive country. If you just come to study, you could also live in just a regular “Hasukjib” which is a boarding house. You basically just rent a room and share the other facilities with your room-mates.

With the Overseas Koreans act, we, adoptees, are allowed to acquire property here in Korea as well. But the fact is that many Korean nationals still don’t know about that law and therefore do not act upon it. Eventually adoptees are still being discriminated. Korean nationals are usually very much against influence from abroad (foreigners). It is kind of funny to see how every Korean family tries to get the best English tutor for their kids but would not treat an adoptee that well.

The working situation here in Korea is really much different from what it would be in another bigsized companies. The Korean society is still very much influenced by the confucianism. That’s why an opinion by the oldest is still very much accepted.

Available Jobs:

When you need a job, about 95% of the available positions are in the education sector. Mostly US adoptees have the advantage that they speak the required American accent. But even those face some discrimination by Korean nationals since in many cases “looking for native speakers” actually should be translated into “looking for a white guy”.

In case you have a degree, it might be much easier to get a job and maybe even a job not within the education sector but something more interesting (just my personal opinion). In most cases the most important thing is some level of Korean language skills.

Once again we come back to the legal aspect of the F4 visa. With the F4 visa you are allowed to work all jobs with the few exception of the so-called 3D jobs. This basically means you should get a “white collar” job as Korea is not interested in unskilled Overseas Koreans or adoptees. The advantage of the F4 is important as with that visa you are not bound to one institution. You also do not need a sponsor. With the E2 visa you would be stuck with the one employer. Fortunately the F4 visa is a great advantage…

Coping with the “Korean mentality”

One of the main problems you might encounter here in Korea is the “Korean mentality”. I always picture Korea as an island, it’s surrounded by water and to the north there is North Korea. That certainly had its influence on the development of the Korean mentality since many Korean nationals never actually lived abroad. That means that in most cases a Korean national doesn’t have an idea about different cultures or ways of living. If you come to Korea and think that the Koreans are to shortsighted, keep in mind that maybe that particular person is just a little xenophobic and might not want to change his/her lifestyle just because of some “rude” Koreans who do not know how to “behave”. Of course, as an adoptee, we do not know the Korean culture and will step into all those small traps the Korean culture keeps ready for those not in the know. But don’t worry, Korean nationals would do the same once they are actually leaving their country.

Patriarchal society

All in all, I have been living here now more than 3 1/2 years and have enjoyed my life here very much. But… I’m a guy. For women, it’s yet another picture. Living in a society that prefers male over female is also one of the aspects you should not underestimate before you make the decision to quit your job and make your move to Korea. Will you be able to understand and to a certain degree compromise your freedom you enjoyed in your adoptive country versus the smaller or bigger hindernis here in Korea? Will you be able to cope with the disadvantages?

Some of my female friends here hate their one year they stay here. Others are more comfortable with it and have been living here for quite some time. I think it’s a more a personal decision, for some it’s easy to adapt, for others it’s just not their piece of cake.

And as the last piece of advice…

Whenever you have a question or run into problems, email or call G.O.A.’L. G.O.A.’L is an adoptee organization and will therefore fight for your rights. You have a problem with your employer? Call G.O.A.’L and get help there. It’s always different to move to a unknown country when you know that there is an organization that backs you up.

Poem by nabiya

May 15th, 2006

his presence taunts me

inviting yet distant addicted to the euphoric

frustration of his temporal heat,

i linger in the traces of his last stance,

absorbed in the fantasy that

he and i once shared this elusive space

~ nabiya